Q and A Week 7

10th February

If this day was an animal, which animal would it be?

A cat show cat. Wanting nothing more to curl up in the warm and be cosy and peaceful, but instead being busy, busy, busy.

---

11th February

How did you get to work today?

Woke up.

---

12th February

What is your biggest obstacle right now?

Lack of money.

---

13th February

What's your favourite question to ask people?

What's your favourite book?

---

14th February

Did you kiss someone today?

Two people and two cats.

---

15th February

Write down the cure for a broken heart.

Time.

---

16th February

What was the last performance or concert you went to?

We Will Rock You in August 2010.

Q and A Week 6

3rd February

On a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? Why?

One - just low level long term background sadness today.

---

4th February

Outside, the weather is...

10pm - crazy wind and heavy hail.

---

5th February

What are you obsessively listening to?

Imagine Dragons - Round and Round
Eli Young Band - Even if it Breaks Your Heart



---

6th February

Are you seeking contentment or excitement?

75% contentment, 25% excitement.

---

7th February

What are three things you have to buy?

Bread. Potatoes. Creme Eggs.

---

8th February

Are you in love?

Yes.

---

9th February

How late did you sleep?

7.45am - when my alarm went off.

Q and A Week 5

27th January

Which art movement best describes you today?

Pointillism

---

28th January

How do you describe home?

Warm. Comfortable. Happy. Messy. Full of books.

---

29th January

What was the last TV show you watched?

Haven - the penultimate episode of Season Three.

---

30th January

What do you want to forget?

Stupid little embarrassments.

---

31st January

Who do you want to be?

A stay-at-home, OU degreed, mother of three.

---

1st February

What is your resolution for tomorrow?

To be productive.

---

2nd February

Who do you live with?

Anthony, Megan, EsmeCat, FoleyCat.

Q and A Week 4

20th January

Are you holding a grudge? About?

A few small ones. All regarding things I've been ordered told to do or been pushed into like I'm a child.

---

21st January

What are you looking forward to?

Seeing my NCT friends on Wednesday (weather dependent) and on Friday night!

---

22nd January

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Argh. Um. Bit of both?

---

23rd January

Do you need a break? From what?

I'd like a break from worrying about going back to work!

---

24th January

If you were going to start your own company, what would it be?

A bookshop.

---

25th January

What makes "you" you?

My past, my memories, my people, my books. And chocolate.

---

26th January

Today you needed more...

SLEEP!!!

Q and A Week 3

13th January

Where do you want to travel next?

France

---

14th January

Are you a leader or a follower?

That depends very much on the circumstances.

---

15th January

On a scale of one to ten, how was your lunch today?

7 - nice ham rolls, coke and a Boost.

---

16th January

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?

No people, just credit cards and a mortgage!

---

17th January

What's the oldest thing you're wearing today?

Um, probably my slippers. Think they're from 2006.

---

18th January

What was peaceful about today?

Mostly everything. Lots of snow falling all day so Anthony came home early.

---

19th January

List three foods you ate today

Apricot and Blueberry cereal bars
Bacon baguette
Tinned peaches

Q and A Week 2

6th January

 

Today was tough because...

...of rushing around to get ready for jury service tomorrow.

---

7th January

 

You are lucky; how so or not so?

I'm healthy (barring stupid post-birth issues). Anthony is healthy. Megan is healthy. My mum and sister and friends are healthy. We also have a roof over our heads and lots of books ;-)

---

8th January

 

What song is stuck in your head?

Round and Round - Imagine Dragons

---

9th January

 

Was today typical? Why or why not?

Typical in going to Baby Sensory, not typical in having mama staying here.

---

10th January

 

Write down something that inspired you today.

All of my NCT ladies in one way or another, particularly Vicky's singing!

---

11th January

 

Today you lost...

...nothing! And i got my phone back after its overnight escape into Sammy's changing bag.

---

12th January

 

What's your favourite accessory?

I don't worry about accessorising in terms of fashion. Anthony would probably be my criminal accessory.

Q and A Week 1

1st January

What is your mission?

"To boldly go where no man...." oh hang on, that's someone elses mission.

My mission is to be the best that I can. At mothering. At loving. At being me.

-----

2nd January

Can people change?

Sometimes. But it depends on what needs to change and if they want to change it.

-----

3rd January

What are you reading right now?

The Passage by Justin Cronin

-----

4th January

The best part of today?

Megan singing to her toys after lunch.

-----

5th January

What was the last restaurant you went to?

The Crown at Wergs for our NCT Christmas lunch.

Floor plans...

...are my new bestest friends.

Now these aren't as amazing and all-singing-all-dancing as I would like them to be. In fact, they're not properly to scale in any way, shape, or form. But they're working, so that will do for now.

Living room before.

Living room afterwards (eventually)

(the radiator isn't new, it was just hidden behind the sofa and not heating the room at all, the sofa will now be in front of the fireplace we never use)

Now the scale is so very off because our living room is nowhere near that wide. But I sketched out its previous layout onto graph paper and gave everything approximate sizes. Then we measured the important bits.

Then I just made sure that everything that needed to be on the second plan was the same size as on the first one.

The sofa is not going to be flat against the wall, but coming out from it slightly at the right hand side, probably slightly in front of that bookcase. The left hand chair will be a lot tighter in against the bookcase there, and the right hand chair will end up somewhere near that position but it really depends on where it looks best!

My main plan isn't actually for furniture.

It's for the books. (but you guessed that)

Before, the bottom left bookcase had Pratchett on the top three shelves, then some cookery and craft books, then craft boxes. A real mix of stuff that mostly ended up there because that was the easiest one to change about.

Now I'm planning to move the Pratchett books to one of the bookcases on the right, and to fill the rest of it with the non-Discworld Pratchett (that had been on the other side of the room) and other fantasy fiction.

Instead of three different bookcases all having non-fiction on, I'm going to group it all together. Depending on where I'm most likely to sit to sew, the boxes of sewing stuff will be on the closest bookcase. The two bookcases on the top right will be filled with fiction books, and the bottom three or four shelves will all be double packed with paperbacks.

I know how I want it, kinda. But it really will take the actual moving things in for me be to be able to get it right.

The living room saga...

...continues.


As I was saying, we'd originally booked ourselves a weeks holiday that was supposed to be spent going away with Anthony's whole family to celebrate his parents 50th wedding anniversary later this year. It had to be that week because it was half term. Although since nobody could agree about where to go and how much it should cost, nothing happened.

I thought I'd get to spend a nice bit of time with Anthony and we could both unwind after the stress of the last few months.

Nope.

I went off to stay with my mother on the 13th, and Anthony came to stay for one night on the 18th and then drive me back on the 19th.

His dad came to stay for a week and they blitzed the living room. The old brown wall paper was pretty easy to remove, but the fact that the previous owner had removed, then added, then removed a succession of dado rails, and patched up any holes with concrete, made it not so straight forward after all.

But now I have a living room with walls painted in a lovely grey-white which makes it feel a million times bigger.

I also have a living room that contains the tv and its stand, the desk and computer, and the sofa.

It feels horribly big and empty. Pretty much like it has since work started on it over two months ago.

The next step is to get a new carpet. We've chosen it, and my lovely mother is contributing towards the cost (as A's parents paid for the floor renewal) (While I am grateful that they did, as we couldn't have afforded it, the fact that I am supposed to be grateful about something I had no choice about, makes it impossible to be grateful *enough*)

We just have to get it fitted. And my patience is rapidly vanishing.

After weeks of doing things based on other people making decisions, I suggested that we get the carpet fitted next week as otherwise it'll be another month before I can start getting any bookcases back in here. Of course, the timing isn't right for his dad to be able to pop over during the week for the hour that the carpet men will need. Even though we don't know which day they can do yet.

*head desk*

If the carpet goes down next week, then I can spend next weekend, when I'm not working, supervising people moving the bookcases in and refilling them. If it has to wait for my next weekday off work (the 9th of March), then either the bookcases will be moved and filled while I'm at work, (which I don't want, as I want to sort them out as they are moved), or the bookcases need to wait until the 17/18th March which is my next weekend off.

Oh, and the first Grand Prix of the year. Australia. 6am race start time Sunday morning.

Also the beginning of our last weeks holiday together before the baby arrives. Which is already filling up with eleventy-million things to do.

Also more than three months since the work in here started and 95% of my library became inaccessible.

Unsurprisingly, I'm a little itchy!

And ranty. But you hadn't spotted that, had you?

*NEWSFLASH*

After I got a little bit over emotional on Friday evening, we went to the carpet shop. They're fitting it between 9 and 12 on Monday. #happykate 

I am very aware...

...that nowadays I am a very intermittent blogger. I am trying my hardest not to be.

I have been trying to blog by thinking up ideas ahead of time - this then means that I feel like I have already written the blog post in question. When, of course, I have not.

I have been trying to blog by not thinking up ideas ahead of time - this then means that I go "I need to blog" and then go "errrr, about what...".

The fact that I have just had two weeks off work (holiday I booked in March when partly expecting Anthony to be able to get the time off too (he couldn't) and thoroughly expecting to be off work for a year from the start of November (maternity leave)) should have meant that I blogged. If only about my plans for my four days down south, or about what I did when I was down there.

Instead I did a lot of cross-stitching, played a bit of WoW, read/listened to (Audible rock) a lot of DiscWorld and did assorted jigsaw puzzling, Pinteresting, and clearing out of old cross-stitch magazining while watching an awful lot of NCIS.

Then this morning, despite going to bed at 2.30am (a very failed attempt at getting back onto "normal" time), I woke up at 8am and had ideas for blogs and crafts and all sorts of things. So instead of just snuggling back to sleep and losing them all, I got up and wrote some very short notes on life, the universe, and everything. (and found a million beautiful Whovian things on Pinterest, but that's today's previous post)

So I'm not going to promise suddenly organised blogging, 5 days a week, with a topic for each day. But I'm going to add "blogging at least once a week" to my Now List (that's from this here book), and see what happens.

Seriously...

...prodding buttock.

I may have just found the perfect motivational tool for 99% of my days.

I've just managed to spend an entire hour on the cross-trainer (assisted by the wondrous Lady Gaga), my legs now feel like jelly and I'm worried I may faint in the shower, but I did it.

My motivational tool is below:

This is the baby jacket that my darling sister brought me back from Canada in 2005. In fact she brought it back exactly six years ago last Monday (20th). Unfortunately that makes tomorrow exactly six years since I had my first miscarriage.

We've got an appointment with the specialist at New Cross next Tuesday. Hopefully we'll get a few questions answered and get a few pointers for the future.

But I'm thinking that making myself sad and angry so that I blast it with the cross-trainer until I fall over will be an excellent coping technique.

As for the other 1% of the time when it just makes me want to eat chocolate, hopefully the 99% will help counteract it!

I've suddenly realised...

...why 2010 has felt a bit weird.

Nothing has happened.

Well I mean, obviously things have happened, but nothing huge and life-changing.

I mean, let's go back a few years.

• 1999 - realised that the uni course I'd wanted to do for years, was not for me, so left uni.


• 2000 - split up with my uni-boyfriend, moved in with a friend who became a boyfriend, got dismissed from my job and had my first acknowledged episode of depression.


• 2001 - split up with James and moved home.


• 2002 - met The Yeti and moved 150 miles up to Wolverhampton with him after knowing him 3 months.


• 2003 - both my grandfather, and the eldest son of one of my mum's oldest friends died. (Granddad was a bit of a shock, George was a hell of a shock, he was only 28. Killed by a drunk driver.) Two days after finding out about Granddad and George, I tripped off a kerb and broke my arm.


• 2004 - The group of friends that I socialised with was split asunder by someone who we all trusted. While a few of them still see each other, I have hardly seen any of them since. (one of the reasons my social life is work folks, my ex-neighbour Angie, or Twitter folks).


• 2005 - I had a miscarriage the day before my wedding.


• 2006 - I have a second miscarriage. A week later, The Yeti left. Two months after that, I met Anthony.


• 2007 - My father died and I had to take a month off work over Christmas as I couldn't get out of bed.


• 2008 - Obvious repercussions at work at the beginning of the year. Miscarriage number three at the end of it.


• 2009 - Mum is told she has breast cancer (grade one, she's had the all-clear barring the 5 years of meds), the Monza trip, we buy a house.

See? There's been at least one huge event a year.

I mean, plenty has happened this year: tweet-ups, book signings, Anthony winning DotY again. But nothing super major life-changing.

I really do hope I'm not tempting fate here...

(unless it's a nice thing!)

Good morning...

...Australia.

Yup, I'm awake again. But this morning doesn't seem so bad since the clocks changed this morning. Instead of getting up at 5am, it was 6am!

I am going to blog this just like last year, well, not just like last year, I'm going to put the whole lot in one post and update as I go - that way nobody reads the last bit first!

Once again the clever buggers at the BBC are doing text updates, and the fact that Twitter has taken off this year means that I've also got Tweetag to keep an eye on (and find some new tweeps through).

It's now 40 minutes to race start...time to get everything organised - no ad breaks to get extra drinks in!

I got up at...

...4.45am this morning.

Ok, so the qualifying didn't actually start until 6am, but the first showing of the new titles was at 5am and I couldn't miss them.

I am very, very glad that ITV aren't doing the coverage this season.

Partly because this mornings results would have completely stumped James Allen.

Yes, there is a British driver on pole.














But it's not the Hamiltwunt...he's 15th on the grid after a terrible Q1 and then his gearbox giving out.













Thank you Jenson.

You've had so much crap over the last two years with people saying you were a has-been. Even real F1 fans were starting to worry.

Now just get rid of that manky beard!

It's been...

...a very strange two weeks.

Center Parcs was bloody brilliant. Lots of chilling out in the spa, lots of reading, far too much wine consumed on a couple of occasions - thoroughly good fun.

Anthony spent quite a lot of time playing with his new fancy camera, Brychan liberated Paris (Blazing Angels on the Wii), Emily had an argument with Professor Layton ("I put in 5 AGES ago and it told me it was wrong, BLOODY GAME!") and Mum got us all hooked on Tyrrell's crisps.

This week I have had a migraine. And that's about it. It started as a headache on Monday afternoon and progressed on Wednesday to me not being able to see out of my left eye and being sent home from work. Yesterday I slept pretty much all day and then today I've alternated between dozing on the sofa and sharing various woes with my lovely Twitter peeps.

The only thing that's been a constant for both weeks was an attack of the green eyed monster.

Well not really a monster, more a stab in the heart and lots of tears kind of monster.

The only problem with going to Center Parcs when it's not a school holiday is the other people who take that opportunity. Like the 17 million couples with babies/toddlers who seemed to make up the rest of the guests there. Oh there were a few older couples there too...but they all seemed to be there with their kids and grandchildren.

Babies are bloody everywhere at the moment and it's really bloody hard.

I was supposed to have had a doctors appointment last Tuesday to discuss my miscarriage. About a week after I got the original letter I got another one to say they had to change the appointment to April instead. At the time I was just glad that I was getting seen, now I'm sad that this means no baby for me in 2009.

I am looking after myself though. Any blogs I've been reading that have unbelievably adorable new babies on I have deleted from Google reader (not you Keris, for some reason reading about Joe is ok), I'm trying to avoid the updates on Facebook from the 8-9 old school friends who are either expecting or have just produced, and I've been avoiding watching anything on TV that could get to me.

CSI:NY clobbered me though. I knew there was an episode coming up where Lindsay told Danny she was pregnant, I didn't expect her to whip out an ultrasound photo to prove it.

My brain seems determined to protect me by making me feel that it didn't really happen. Same as with my dad I guess. Silly coping mechanisms. The one thing I wish I had done was get the ultrasound photo. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it would be proof that I got to that point for the first time.

Gonna stop now cos none of this is making any sense. Thank you for listening.

Last night...

...I found myself on the horns of a dilemma. (A beast a little like a gnu).

I'd finished reading The Canon at lunchtime and really, really enjoyed it. This meant that I needed to pick myself a book to read in the very hot bath that I planned to take.

But what to read?

I looked through all 6 bookshelves (and all the piles on the floor) and managed to whittle myself down to a shortlist of 6 titles.





All of them, bar Mr Toppit, were just the right length for me to read in the bath. So therefore Mr Toppit got put aside for being too long. (It only made the shortlist cos it's my newest proof (although quite why we had the proof arrive in store at the same time as the book I do not know)).

Being aware that I'm on holiday in a week, I put aside The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency to take with me (and all the rest of the series too).

I put Marianne aside because she'll start me on a Sheri S. Tepper kick and I'm not quite in the mood for that at the moment.

Decider got kicked to the curb because I decided I wanted some fantasy rather than people blowing up racecourses.

That left a hard choice between The Valley of Secrets and The Pinhoe Egg.

Since by this time the bath had run I took them both in there and decided to read the first chapter of each and then choose.

By the time I remembered I was going to do this...I was already halfway through The Pinhoe Egg. I shall read Valley of Secrets tonight instead.

Snowy morning...

...walk to work.



The Work Walk Set

I do apologise for that shot of RichieFingers...I hope no one was eating when they looked at it. ;-p

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

...oh look, it did.

Reading through my Google Reader I notice an awful lot of people who have been off work/college today because of the snow.

Jammy buggers.

I must admit that work was ok today because it was so flipping quiet as anyone with any sense has stayed at home/gone sledding. This did mean that the customers we did have were as mad as a bag of snakes. Oh, and Gavin popped in. But it was his birthday (25) so we'll let him off.

Today I wished I was between the ages of 6-11 again. In fact we could stretch that slightly to 6-18 as my senior school would have shut due to the snow too.

But my memories of playing in the snow are from 6-11. Building igloos in Melanie and Lauren's back garden (proper high walls and everything). Building forts in the front garden and engaging in snowball fights with Calvin and Martin.

Instead I pulled a few returns, informed people that the cookery book published by "someone named Marjorie, used to live next door to me, it was about Black Country recipes" was out of print ("so how long will it take you to order it?") and was generally rather bored.

Sometimes I wish I lived further away from work so I could say I couldn't get in. Sometimes I wish I was 6-11 again. Sometimes I wish I had kids so that they'd be off school so I couldn't go in.

Here's hoping for two out of three (since I ain't gonna get younger).

One Day.

Blue, blue...

...blue.

January has me in its miserable grip.

Every single customer at work is rude and or abusive - the winner being the woman who called me a f**king cow when I asked her to put in her pin number while she was on the phone to a friend.

The blog I go to for happy thoughts and positive thinking, cjane, has had no end of crap being talked about it in various places due to her success (subject to confirmation) in the 2008 Weblog Awards.
This includes criticism of the fact that she has been fundraising for her sister, the fact she has been raising her sister's kids, the picture of herself as an angel in her blog header, and the fact that she has been moderating her comments over the last six months in an attempt to keep things positive and upbeat. Good grief. I worry about the world when people stop understanding jokes and sarcasm and decide that she's an evil person who only gave her nephew gum for his birthday.

Plus I'm feeling broody/empty, a currently unsolvable problem.

So tonight I have come home and dug out a song guaranteed to make me cry my eyes out.



Then I put on the song with the longest intro in the world (lyrics start at 3:24)



Then Anthony walked in the front door, I put on a song from my 150for30 play list and the world got brighter.



(Forgot today was Thursday, that goes a long way towards explaining me ranting!)

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

...(oh yes, you knew that was coming)

I have never been a big fan of soup. I don't remember it coming up as a regular meal option at home, it would always be a choice of last resort when I was ill and particularly grumpy. Then it had to be Cream of Chicken, no other type would do.

But recently I have been wanting soup.

So I went out and bought some.



That receipt has had to be saved as proof that I had a soup moment, although the entries on it do not do my soup shopping justice.

Farmers Soup = Heinz Farmers' Market Roast Parsnip & Caramelised Onion Soup.
Soup = Heinz Farmers' Market Beef, Mushroom & Red Wine Soup
Ckn Broth = Heinz Classic Chicken & Barley Broth
Soup = Tesco Finest Sweet Potato, Butternut Squash & Pumpkin Soup
Soup = Tesco Finest Cream of Chicken Soup

(the Finest ones come in very cool pouches, and I was glad as the bag was very heavy anyway!)

As you can see, if I am going to eat soup, it has to be fancy soup.

We bought some nice ones from Waitrose yesterday too: Frances Robson's Tweedside Honey in English Parsnip Soup and Laura & Simon Thearle's Goats Cheese in Red Pepper Soup.

I have even been looking at some cookbooks at work to find myself a soup I can cook in the slow cooker one day. It's all part of looking after myself with this horrible lurgy that just won't go away.

I'm probably never going to eat soup in a restaurant (they always have either goats cheese or pate for a starter) but at the moment my diet is becoming soup based which is rather scary. I think it must be Anthony's influence, this last couple of years I've taken to eating all sorts of things that I would never have touched with a bargepole before.

Next thing you know I'll be drinking coffee!