I've suddenly realised...

...why 2010 has felt a bit weird.

Nothing has happened.

Well I mean, obviously things have happened, but nothing huge and life-changing.

I mean, let's go back a few years.

• 1999 - realised that the uni course I'd wanted to do for years, was not for me, so left uni.


• 2000 - split up with my uni-boyfriend, moved in with a friend who became a boyfriend, got dismissed from my job and had my first acknowledged episode of depression.


• 2001 - split up with James and moved home.


• 2002 - met The Yeti and moved 150 miles up to Wolverhampton with him after knowing him 3 months.


• 2003 - both my grandfather, and the eldest son of one of my mum's oldest friends died. (Granddad was a bit of a shock, George was a hell of a shock, he was only 28. Killed by a drunk driver.) Two days after finding out about Granddad and George, I tripped off a kerb and broke my arm.


• 2004 - The group of friends that I socialised with was split asunder by someone who we all trusted. While a few of them still see each other, I have hardly seen any of them since. (one of the reasons my social life is work folks, my ex-neighbour Angie, or Twitter folks).


• 2005 - I had a miscarriage the day before my wedding.


• 2006 - I have a second miscarriage. A week later, The Yeti left. Two months after that, I met Anthony.


• 2007 - My father died and I had to take a month off work over Christmas as I couldn't get out of bed.


• 2008 - Obvious repercussions at work at the beginning of the year. Miscarriage number three at the end of it.


• 2009 - Mum is told she has breast cancer (grade one, she's had the all-clear barring the 5 years of meds), the Monza trip, we buy a house.

See? There's been at least one huge event a year.

I mean, plenty has happened this year: tweet-ups, book signings, Anthony winning DotY again. But nothing super major life-changing.

I really do hope I'm not tempting fate here...

(unless it's a nice thing!)

The other week...

...we both took a weeks holiday and as well as doing some decorating we also popped down to Essex for a few days.

We went to see my dad on his birthday, and I gave him a haircut.

I also went digging through the photo albums to find a picture of myself with longer hair (as I'm kinda trying to grow it out a bit) and came across this beauty.



I can remember this picture being taken. It's the summer of 1997, I was 18 and I'd got engaged maybe two/three weeks before. I'd been at a party at my friend Pami's the night before and then I went into London with my parents to visit some family friends. I was sooooooooo hungover it's untrue.

But oh. my. god. do I look lovely here.

(as you know, pictures of me that I like without reservation are few and far between) (90% of the ones I do like still always have something in that I dislike).

Sometimes...

...I really should know better.

I was Googling Arbor Day at Aston-on-Clun (which I went to twice a few years ago) and stumbled across this blogpost from one of them.

Very cool to remember it all again through someone elses eyes, as it meant I remembered all the fun we had that weekend and not all the crap that came out of it. Unfortunately I just couldn't resist the urge to read some of the other posts and that has made me sad.

Sad for the loss of some good friendships, sad for the amount of spite that some people have, sad for the lass that I was back then before the storms that arrived on that Sunday.

Then I went and played some WoW, which made me a little shocked as I remembered how long I've been playing (5 years at the end of this June).

It made me realise just how much I've changed in that time. Partly from the scarlet-haired supremely confident witch, partly from the naive girl who thought that people always spoke what was in their heart.

But some things never really change, this is why I still have a blog, six years after first starting one. This is why my day off has involved laundry, the computer, reading and cross-stitch. This is why I am still really really me.

Now for 15 minutes on the cross trainer with some very loud rock on the iPhone and then some tv & stitching. Oh, and putting a light on cos I just realised I can't actually see the keyboard.