...of the United Kingdom (being over 18, not a member of the House of Lords, not in prison, and not an idiot) I went and voted today. In fact I went and voted about 10 minutes ago.
And I was amazed.
I handed my small white polling card to the man at the desk and he ticked my name off a list and then handed me a folded yellow piece of paper.
I walked to the little wooden booth and unfolded the paper. And unfolded it again. And again. And again.
There were twelve parties listed on my yellow piece of wallpaper roll. I considered each one carefully.
1) The British National Party - not a hope in hell of getting my vote, racist hate-mongering bastards.
2) The Conservative Party - hmmmm, that Dave is rather convincing but I still don't think a lot of them.
3) Christian Party-Christian Peoples Alliance - see party no.1.
4) English Democrat - Never heard of them, never even sent me a leaflet.
5) Green Party - Ahhh, heard of them, they like hugging trees and saving whales. According to the note on the paper they are "A Vote Against Racism".
6) Jury Team - People who were once on a jury? (see no.4)
7) The Labour Party - Don't even go there, and especially don't take your travel expenses out of my taxes.
8) Liberal Democrats - Well...Vince Cable's book is selling quite well.
9) Libertas - Aren't they something to do with that awful orange Kilroy-Silk man? (Nope, having checked, he set up Veritas)
10) No2EU - well yes, but do you stand for anything else? And can you spk prpr engsh?
11) Socialist Labour Party - underneath this it said "Leader - Arthur Scargill". *silence*
12) UK Independence Party - Ah yes, the OTHER party associated with the orange racist.
So, 12 parties...who could I possibly choose?
In the end I decided to vote for Mrs Swinburne because, "We are on the brink of a new era, if only..."
and if you know what that means, not only do you know who I voted for, but you have very good taste in television comedy.